Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Rejuvenation

No, not the World of Warcraft spell; I'm talking about letting everything go: all the drama, the masks I wear, the attitudes, and everything that is not who I am. I know you've probably heard this all before, but this time it is different (and I'm sure you've heard that before too).

When it comes to change, I like to use the onion/layers analogy, which I won't bore you with. The gist is that you start out as a core person, built off values taught and values learned and personal experiences. After a certain age, your core doesn't change all that much (usually changes are offset by traumatic experiences or other total life changing incidents). Over the years you pile on useless layers often caused by drama, peer pressure, habit, and ignorance.

Peeling off these layers can be a lot of work. Or, you can do what I'm doing, and get a haircut. Lose all the extra layers, take some time and do things for you and only you. Do what you want, not what everyone else wants you to do. Don't want to go golfing with everyone from work? Don't! (I actually look forward to it as it's trying something new). Want to do some watercolor? What's your excuse? "I don't have enough time" Oh please, I've been using that excuse for years. Get away from the TV, throw some laundry in, sweep the floor (it takes like 2 minutes if you stop whining and just do it) and then go outside and go on a nature hike, or do whatever it is that compels you. Sunrise occurs too early? Set your alarm and wake up with a mission, you'll be surprised how easy it is to get up early when something spectacular is waiting. So that's what I'm doing. I'm being more responsible, not being lazy, and if I'm compelled to do something, I go and do it.

The other part of my rejuvenation is to get rid of all my online personalities, all my pseudonyms, all my masks, and just be me. Do I know who i am yet? not really. But I know I'm going to find out, and I'll let you know how all that goes.