Thursday, August 27, 2009

Here and Gone Again

It is overwhelming to think just how many people have entered my life, only to leave it again. While sometimes the circumstances are obvious and unavoidable (moving away, etc), sometimes it is a shame how things turn out. There are those who have briefly touched my life. There are high school classmates that I didn't really get along with, people I've met visiting other places for a short time, and friends of friends who I only met once. To think that most of these people you never really care to see again is saddening enough, but to realize there are those you wish you had kept around is even more troubling.

I keep only a handful of friends around that I trust unconditionally. Yet most other people I am easy to get along with, and do authentically enjoy being around. So it always leaves my heart a little sad to see someone go. "Oh but what about facebook!" Ahh yes of course. I was done with facebook a long time ago. It just isn't for me. I don't need application spam and friend requests from people I've never met. I don't want to see your drunk Halloween pictures. What ever happened to the old fashioned way of connecting to people? I suppose these days it's facebook or bust. Which leaves me with bust.

There are of course people I was friends with through other people. Friends by proxy, and friends of circumstance. And when those loose ties are broken it is game over. So many people I've met that I would love to still be friends with vanish as soon as there is a break-up, or college is over, or have totally left their previous life behind to move forward, or to rewind into the old comfortable past.

It's probably for the better. At least this way there are no false hopes, no "It's either him or me", and no drama. I can't help but feel there is a slight emptiness this all leaves. I guess the only thing to do is to push forward; focus on myself for a while. Time to go out, meet new people, and develop new relationships. There is probably nothing for me looking behind, but if I look forward, who knows where life will take me.